Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Passion


I've been taking time to nurture myself lately. After raising children for 19 years, it's finally dawning on me that the airlines have it right-take care of yourself first and once you're safe, you have what it takes to help others.

WOW!

Like a bolt of lightening that visual (anyone who's flown anywhere in the last 50 years knows the pre-take off routine. In case of emergency the oxygen masks will fall. Parents are told to put their own mask on and then help their children) hit me full in the face. OK, more like in the heart. My head's been telling me for years to take care of others first. Is that a mom/woman thing?

One of the things I do for me is read. I like all types of books. Usually I have at least 4 going at any one time. Currently I am reading an adventure book with my son and a mystery/coming of age with my youngest daughter. I am also going through my own personal library to reread books that impacted my life. Having survived (and triumphed) a divorce, navigated the choppy waters of my son's cancer and stroke, and held it together when my eldest asserted herself, I know that I am not the same person who first read those books. I've been tried and stretched. The 'fluff' of me has been burned away and what is left is more of the essence of who I was created to be.

So this past weekend I started rereading Curtis and Eldredge's The Sacred Romance . Progress is slow. I'm still on page 3. I've stopped to ponder the phrase, '-a life without heart is not worth living'

Heart- the well spring of emotions. That organ that pumps the blood necessary for life. The invisible aspect of me that is capable of being broken and mended, stretched, enlarged. The thing we tend to hide from others, yet long to have seen and accepted.

As the swirl of thoughts settle, I will share what I am learning from this.

Sheep M 9/30/09

Can you tell where I do most of my personal reading?





5 comments:

Queenmothermamaw said...

Well M, quite insightful. I think we all eventually come to the realization that there is a time and a place when we cannot give anymore. I felt so selfish when I first retired and the guilt of just doing what I wanted, along with the lesser responsibilities, made me feel so self centered. It took a lot of prayer for me to realize 71 years, years of volunteering, a full time job, 6 kids, 10 grands is a lot of time of giving. I need to read that book.
QMM

KathyB. said...

I too am usually reading at least 4 books at a time.I read one in each bathroom, one in bed, and one in the living room. And I still ( I think ) am able to pick up right where I left off in the story without missing a beat. The bathtub is a great place to read, isn't it?

It is hard for me to relax and rest when my family is in some sort of distress, and it never ends does it? I guess there comes a point when I need to realize my kids are grown, and they are responsible to themselves and God for their decisions, and I need to ask God to give me wisdom and discernment in when it is good to help and when to step aside and let Him. Thoughtful post, thank-you.

Daisy said...

I think it is so true that you need to take time to take care of yourself. We all need to take a break from everything once in a while. Reading is a wonderful way to do that.

glorv1 said...

Everyone needs a break from time to time. I felt guilty at first when I started staying home, now I am so happy about it. I like your blog.

YayaOrchid said...

I'm glad you're taking time for yourself and just enjoying reading. A good way to forget your troubles sometimes.

I used to devour books. It's been a while since I read anything other than mags or cookbooks.