I am usually not much of a whiner, but a few weeks back, I entered into a season that was bleak. I truly felt like Chicken Little, "The sky is falling! The sky is falling!"
Everyday seemed to bring more bad news. I was being held accountable, not for my own mistakes, but for others' misdeeds. Friends were dumping on me- painful accounts from their own lives. Filling my head with their own pain and frustrations. My son's health came into question- doctors feared a relapse of his leukemia.
All I wanted to do was retreat. Find a cave, crawl in it, and pray that the mountain would crumble around me, sealing me in. Talk about a pity party!
The thing about pity parties-once you've rehashed all the stuff happening at the moment, you tend to bring up all the other stuff that was bad, wrong, hurt your feelings, etc. just so you can drag the party out as long as possible. At this point, you begin to feel justified in your emotions and it isn't long before the bitterness and blame set in.
You begin playing the game, "If only.." Ever play that? Well you can't win! Not ever. It just spirals on and on, a whirlpool of depression, that breeds pity parties!
What's a poor blind sheep to do?
I didn't get so much mad, as I got sick and tired of feeling like the mountains were crumbling and targeting me. I wanted to know, what in the Sam-hill God thought he was doing! I'd already been through more than my fair share of pain, and it was just piling up!
Know what? God showed me a beautiful picture of His mercy. He never promised the mountains wouldn't crumble. He never promised a life without pain. He never promised His love would protect me from all the junk this world throws my way.
He did promise to be there. To be with me in the midst of it all. And the picture- that although the sky is falling, He only allows one piece at a time to hit me. He's caught the falling sky, and holds it back dribbling one bit at a time through His loving hands. He knew all the stuff that was coming into my life, all the incidents that would mold and shape me, and He in His mercy did not allow me to be overwhelmed.
Indeed, His mercies are new each morning. Nothing comes to me, but through Him. I can rest in the peace that My Good Shepherd has the lay of the land and has declared all things good!
Sheep M 2/24/09